The European Jokeforum

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Sun May 23, 2004 2:40 pm

Five Germans came to Italian border by Audi Quattro. An Italian customs officer pulled them off and said:
-You ara fiva people in Audi Quattro. Quattro meansa four. You ara one person too many.
The driver replied:
-But Quattro iz juzt ze model of the car. It doezn't mean hov many people it can carry.
Customs officer:
-No no no, you can'ta foola me! Quattro meansa four and it'sa illegala to taka mora people in it thana four.
Driver:
-You idiot! Call your zupervizer over! Ve vant to talk viz zomeone viz more intelligenze!
Customs officer:
-He can'ta coma right now. He's justa talking witha two guys who cama by Fiat Uno.

Donald · Post by **Donald** » Sun May 23, 2004 3:56 pm

Aaron wrote:Five Germans came to Italian border by Audi Quattro. An Italian customs officer pulled them off and said:
-You ara fiva people in Audi Quattro. Quattro meansa four. You ara one person too many.
The driver replied:
-But Quattro iz juzt ze model of the car. It doezn't mean hov many people it can carry.
Customs officer:
-No no no, you can'ta foola me! Quattro meansa four and it'sa illegala to taka mora people in it thana four.
Driver:
-You idiot! Call your zupervizer over! Ve vant to talk viz zomeone viz more intelligenze!
Customs officer:
-He can'ta coma right now. He's justa talking witha two guys who cama by Fiat Uno.

You only told half of the truth about the Italian border situation! There is a special service for those who must disembark their Quattros and Unos: A friendly Italian entrepreneur brings all of them - for a reasonable fee - to their destinations with his Fiat Cinquecento.

Tiger · Post by **Tiger** » Sun May 23, 2004 7:12 pm

Donald wrote:
Aaron wrote:Five Germans came to Italian border by Audi Quattro. An Italian customs officer pulled them off and said:
-You ara fiva people in Audi Quattro. Quattro meansa four. You ara one person too many.
The driver replied:
-But Quattro iz juzt ze model of the car. It doezn't mean hov many people it can carry.
Customs officer:
-No no no, you can'ta foola me! Quattro meansa four and it'sa illegala to taka mora people in it thana four.
Driver:
-You idiot! Call your zupervizer over! Ve vant to talk viz zomeone viz more intelligenze!
Customs officer:
-He can'ta coma right now. He's justa talking witha two guys who cama by Fiat Uno.
You only told half of the truth about the Italian border situation! There is a special service for those who must disembark their Quattros and Unos: A friendly Italian entrepreneur brings all of them - for a reasonable fee - to their destinations with his Fiat Cinquecento.

With..... this?

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Sun May 23, 2004 7:27 pm

Tiger wrote:With..... this?

Yes, I remember those, quite famous vintage car in Finland too - just like its "big(ger) brother" Fiat 600 and Austrian cousin Steyr Puch.

But there's also a new version of Fiat Cinquecento. I think they make it in Poland.

I don't know who invented doghouse but Italians got the idea to equip it with wheels.

micro · Post by **micro** » Sun May 23, 2004 7:31 pm

Donald wrote:You only told half of the truth about the Italian border situation! There is a special service for those who must disembark their Quattros and Unos: A friendly Italian entrepreneur brings all of them - for a reasonable fee - to their destinations with his Fiat Cinquecento.

And since he is a good entrepreneur he always waits with departure until there are 500 passengers

pinguino79 · Post by **pinguino79** » Wed Jun 09, 2004 9:13 pm

That's a very old joke (I've heard it for the first time in prymary school, 1986).
In English sounds very weird, though

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 9:14 am

pinguino79 wrote:That's a very old joke (I've heard it for the first time in prymary school, 1986).
In English sounds very weird, though

I heard it from one guy quite recently. The way how he told it was more funny than the joke itself as he could imitate the accents very well.

Of course it is not as funny when it's written.

I just love the jokes of different nationalities. Here in souther Finland people use to tell jokes about Swedish, Russians, Savonians (Savonia or "Savo" in Finnish is a county in eastern Finland) and Lappish. Swedish tell jokes about Norwegians and Finns, and Norwegians tell jokes about Swedish and Finns; usually their jokes about Finns are exactly the same as we tell about Lappish.

Which nationalities do you tell jokes about? You can also give an example.

Elmo · Post by **Elmo** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 12:48 pm

Aaron wrote:Which nationalities do you tell jokes about? You can also give an example.

Our main victims are the Belgians (for being dumb). Example:
Q: Why do Belgians have forks with them while driving?
A: To cut the corners.
Q: But shouldn't they have a knife instead of a fork?
A: The Belgians don't know that!

The Germans are also our victims, sometimes for their habits (like talking
loud), but sometimes about Hitler (I am not going to mention some, because
this subjest is still very controversial).

Furthermore Turkish and Maroccan people are told jokes about. Some people
think it is racist to tell jokes about them, but I think that's hypocrite, because
then they should say that jokes about Belgians and Germans are also racist,
because one group of people is being pissed off.

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 1:37 pm

Elmo wrote:Furthermore Turkish and Maroccan people are told jokes about. Some people
think it is racist to tell jokes about them, but I think that's hypocrite, because
then they should say that jokes about Belgians and Germans are also racist,
because one group of people is being pissed off.

I forgot we tell jokes also about Gipsies and Somalians. Some of them can be categorised racistic all doubt but others just hypocritically just like you mentioned.

Fjon · Post by **Fjon** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 3:23 pm

I can't really think of many countries the Irish tell jokes about. The only ones really would be the UK and US, but I am pretty certain they have more jokes about Ireland than we do about them.

Fjon · Post by **Fjon** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 3:27 pm

Seeing as I posted in the Joke forum, I might as well add something. This is from a english kid's show called Rainbow. I am not sure if it was ever brought to other countries. I think it's the funniest email I have received in quite a while!

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/rainbow.wmv

Fjon · Post by **Fjon** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 3:34 pm

And this one does absolutely nothing for the Irish stereotype, but is still damn funny IMO!

http://www.videoranch.com/html/irishlan ... large.html

Dakkus · Post by **Dakkus** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 9:06 pm

Aaron wrote:
pinguino79 wrote:That's a very old joke (I've heard it for the first time in prymary school, 1986).
In English sounds very weird, though :P
I heard it from one guy quite recently. The way how he told it was more funny than the joke itself as he could imitate the accents very well. :lol: Of course it is not as funny when it's written.

I just love the jokes of different nationalities. Here in souther Finland people use to tell jokes about Swedish, Russians, Savonians (Savonia or "Savo" in Finnish is a county in eastern Finland) and Lappish. Swedish tell jokes about Norwegians and Finns, and Norwegians tell jokes about Swedish and Finns; usually their jokes about Finns are exactly the same as we tell about Lappish.

Which nationalities do you tell jokes about? You can also give an example. :wink:

Actually here in Finland we joke very much about Turku. Though, as the people in Turku aren't as smart as the people in Finland, Aaron may not have noticed this quite yet ;)

There is an association called "Get Rid of Turku" (irti Turusta ry.)
Each year it places one more wedge on the border of Finland and Turku. Eventually Turku will tear apart from Finland and sail to some place more suitable to them.. Though, I must confess I feel a bit shamed for even thinking of infecting that disease to Sweden even though doing that would cure Finland. Even the Swedish don't deserve *that* kind of cruelty..

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 9:52 am

Dakkus wrote:Actually here in Finland we joke very much about Turku. Though, as the people in Turku aren't as smart as the people in Finland, Aaron may not have noticed this quite yet

Ha ha ha, you are just envious there in western Russia.

Dakkus wrote:There is an association called "Get Rid of Turku" (irti Turusta ry.)
Each year it places one more wedge on the border of Finland and Turku. Eventually Turku will tear apart from Finland and sail to some place more suitable to them.. Though, I must confess I feel a bit shamed for even thinking of infecting that disease to Sweden even though doing that would cure Finland. Even the Swedish don't deserve *that* kind of cruelty..

I haven't heard about that association but Tampere people have "Ei-turkulainen osakunta" (Non-Turku students' association). Their logo is a picture of castle of Turku upside down.

This is what the castle actually looks like.

Too bad we couldn't make a similar joke about Tampere as a chimney stack doesn't look so special if you turn it upside down.

The society arranges every year a trip to Turku trying to separate the city from the mainland by hammering wedges to the ground at the city border.
Here is a picture of a desperated Tampere person who tries to to cut Turku off from the mainland.

After this they go to the market square to jump that Turku would go down to the bottom of the Baltic Sea. And after failing in this, they go to drink to some pub (which is actually the main purpose for the whole trip).

Also Turku people have made fun of Tampere people. I'm not sure if they put a note or did they go there to give tickets to the ferry which operates in Turku carrying people across the river Aura. The name of the ferry is Föri. Here is a picture of it.

The joke is that it's free to everyone to travel by the ferry.

Tampere people answered by giving tickets to a free rock concert. It read on the ticket Free ticket to Turku people.

I like this joking thing between Turku and Tampere.

For some reason I haven't heard people joking as much about Helsinki as about Tampere. Helsinki "doesn't exist" somehow.

Ganymede · Post by **Ganymede** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 2:42 pm

fjon wrote:Seeing as I posted in the Joke forum, I might as well add something. This is from a english kid's show called Rainbow.

That was hilarious. Excuse while I go play with my twanger... or my maraccas (sp?), I'm not sure yet.

If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.

This is very good too!